Friday, 31 July 2015

The A Team...

Working in the wedding industry it was only a matter of time before this post was written. I'm a wedding make-up artist and I love my job. I have been self employed for one year, and I am pretty sure there are only two options for the way my future will be shaped -

1 - I'll be locked up for killing the entire bridal team before the first round of bucks fizz has been poured.

2 - I gain some serious level of sass over the years and become able to deal with any shit thrown in my direction by a variety of 'getting married' ass holes.

My mum Tracy is a hairdresser, and on many occasions throughout the year we bring our shit hot skills and unite to making quite possibly the most bad ass team I have ever come across. That being said it is the only time in my entire life that I listen to every word she says, don't chat back and put that roller EXACTLY where I'm told.

This morning - after leaving a wonderful wedding of gorgeous, calm, chilled out girls - we were done by 11.00am. This in itself was a rarity, and so we took full advantage and enjoyed a coffee in Clifton village reflecting on how lovely it is to be self employed and doing a job we love. In fact, we've nothing short of smashed it. Jokes, she paid for my cappuccino and being only one year deep, I'm still in minus. However, In five years time I'll own the empty shop I was staring at all morning running a Bridal mafia team.

On our way back we were discussing a family situation which is very close to our hearts and means that our loved ones are going through immense sadness. Made even worse by there being absolutely nothing we can do to fix it. Bad timing of the upsetting conversation we were having, Trace's phone started to ring and she asked me to take a message. She's often joked about paying me to be her PA but that would be pushing it on the being told what to do by my mum 24/7 front so I only do it when there's no choice. I actually have a top telephone voice if I do say so myself so these things don't phase me. However, dealing with idiots is something I'm not so good at as was made very apparent today.

"Hi, Please can I speak to Tracy?"

You know when you shouldn't, but you instantly judge someone by there condescending tone of voice and pretentious (big words) manner and think 'Bring it'...

"Hello, it's Sasha speaking, Tracy's daughter, Tracy is driving at the moment please can I take a message for her"

Lady - "Oh right, well I've sent Tracy an email and she hasn't replied, I'm trying to sort out my daughters wedding hair and as it's proving quite difficult so I thought it best I called."

"Ok, no problem if I could just take your name I can make sure she see's to the email ASAP and gets back to you"

Lady - "Right well the situation is, I need to know if she's available or not as I'm trying to get this sorted for my daughter this weekend so if you could ask her to reply to my email as soon as she's available that would be great" (you know when people finish their sentence with the word 'great' and the 'T' is the only thing you hear!

"When did you send the email?"

at this point I'm still managing to keep calm because for all I know she could have sent the email months ago and hasn't heard from Mum meaning she has every reason to be annoyed.

Lady - "I sent it this morning"

She's about to wish she clicked on the next link down on Google...

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, but we've actually been working this morning so there's no way she would have seen the email as of yet (lady did not need to know about the coffee break in Clifton delaying her email response time) We're currently driving back home and as soon as she get's to her computer I'll make sure she gets back to you before anybody else. What date is the wedding?"

Before I'd even put the phone down I'd decided that 31st October was FULLY booked whether Princess wants our services or not. Regardless of the the intense conversation we had previously been having - I did not want to be dealing with this shitty tone of voice whilst stuck in traffic. It's this sort of situation which literally puts me off getting married myself. It's every girls absolute dream to have the big perfect day. Whilst I can 100% relate to wanting those things, and don't take me wrong I am excited about spending the rest of my life with someone (could be you if you're lucky babes, I know you're reading), and not just the morning where me and my best friends will be getting pissed on Champagne and taking selfies, I don't see the point. Marriage to me is something very important and also very close to my heart. Having divorced parents, Grand Parents and just generally every marriage in my family failing, it's the one thing I'm determined not to screw up. Being confused as to what marriage actually consists of, I'm also aware it's not as easy as 'making it work' or not. Which is why I think it's important to make sure you know.

Working in this industry has really made me question how may people get married because they want to make that commitment or whether they want to look incredible for one day and get over 200 likes on a photo posted on Facebook (obvs can't wait for that also). It's OK to want both but if the commitment comes first then getting stressed about what shade of mascara you have on the day and how you're going to eat your croissant whilst the photographer 'captures the moment' is something I can't relate to. If you can plan the shade of mascara without stress then by all means, crack on - But don't live, sleep, breathe and eat wedding planning if it's going to turn you into a total dragon. The most important thing for me when I get married is the fact I will have the most special people in my life all together (just saying that makes my blood pressure go) for one day witnessing me make the promise to give my best chance at making a marriage work. The stunning dress, choosing bridesmaids and most importantly what everybody is going to eat throughout the day are just added bonus's that I refuse to let myself get stressed about. Because going back to our conversation in the car this afternoon, there really are much more important things going on in our worlds.

So to the lady with attitude phone voice, I hope you've found somebody to do your daughters wedding hair because the A Team are already booked (genuinely). And, if you're the next Bride and want you're wedding pictures to look on par with a Bridal magazine cover photo I suggest you do the following - Plan in advance, know what you want, be patient, and don't pick bridesmaids who will disagree with everything you tell them they're having and wedding services have bigger bitches to fry!


Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Waitrose eggs and my green grass...

I often wonder why Waitrose is one of my happy places - or any posh supermarket for that matter.

I had to pop to there today as I needed to grab a few things for dinner and it was much more appealing that doing my weekly food shop in Lidl where myself and my purse actually belong. I'd rather walk around Waitrose with a basket of milk and reduced items and pretend I belong.

I was stood in the aisle and as I went to grab a pack of six large eggs, I saw that they also do 'Extra Large' eggs. The level of excitement was worrying. I am twenty three years old and Extra Large Eggs excite me.

I walked out of Waitrose with a free coffee (My Waitrose card holders only I'm afraid) and a bag of items that will last me one meal costing £16.90 but I was a hell of a lot happier than when I walked in.

I've always been the type of person to wonder what life's like on the other side, and how it could always 'be better' until about a year ago. My life did a 360, I lost a lot of weight and started to invest time in myself rather than thinking what it's be like to be somebody else thinner with a chest that resembles a woman rather than soggy ice cream cones. I then made a conscious effort to stop wondering what other peoples grass looked like and start concentrating on my own. The thing is, it really doesn't take a lot to make me happy. Yes Waitrose makes me happy and Waitrose costs money, but in the grand scheme of things Waitrose is a lot cheaper than a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes which is what most people my age should be excited about. I've spent so much time wondering if I'm 'normal' for not wanting to do huge things with my life. I used to. I used to want to be a performer on the west end stage with a flat stomach and a husband that resembled everything Jude Law does. But believe it or not I actually quickly realised that even I couldn't bring enough drama to the real stage.

My three best friends could not be more opposite to me. One has just finished her masters in something I couldn't even write without texting her to ask how to spell it. Another lives in New Zealand working at an interior design company with big plans to move back to the UK and do the same. And the other has just landed herself a job with ELLE magazine in London...and I get excited about eggs.

But is that OK? Is it OK that for now I'm happy just going on expensive holidays I can't afford and writing a blog because it's cheaper than a therapist? I often wonder if there's something wrong with me and why I don't have any major dreams to become a famous make-up artist in New York City with an apartment like Julia Roberts and a beauty range that sells to millions.

Instead I dream of visiting New York and staying in an apartment like in Pretty Woman and being able to buy beautiful things. However I then want to be able to come back to my home and make the baddest omelettes with my extra large eggs. I'm starting to think that maybe there isn't anything wrong with that and whilst I'm super proud of my friends chasing their dreams it doesn't matter that mine aren't the same size.

Here's to loving the grass we all live on and enjoying our eggs the way we like them.